Stop the Perfection Game, Do This Instead with Melanie Ferguson
This week we are going to tackle the big P is what I’m calling Impossible Perfectionism. I don’t know about you, but I struggle with perfectionism each and every single day. And I want to share with you some facts about perfectionism that maybe you did not know yet, as well as some tips to try to overcome it in your life.
Facts about Perfectionism
So, first off, the definition of perfectionism is simply a defense mechanism designed to keep us safe, probably if you are a perfectionist, always believe that if you are in control over everything, nothing will go wrong, or at least it won’t go as long as it could if you weren’t in control. This is not true.
Perfectionism is also the fear of failure. It keeps us from putting ourselves out there to the world, right? So a lot of us struggle in this category, the fear of failure.
Perfectionism holds you back from doing the things you know it takes to grow your dreams. That’s a good one.
Perfectionism causes burnout, indecision, procrastination, loneliness, and a disconnection from others. Do you struggle with this? Does this ring true for you? I know it does for me.
Perfectionism is also a sign of insecurity. Yes. Trying to constantly prove yourself worthy to your colleagues. Or how about to your parents, or even yourself?
Perfectionism is rooted in deep fear. You may be afraid of making mistakes, so it causes you to pursue only things that you know you can succeed at. Only things that you know are easy or impossible for you to mess up.
It keeps you from challenging yourself in a way that is needed for you to actually make progress or see success in your life. The easy way is wide, many will come through it. The challenging way is narrow. So this is how we can know if we’re trying to be perfect all the time, is if we are always taking and choosing the easy way.
So how does Fear/Perfectionism show up in your business?
- Is it a lack of engagement?
- Maybe not raising your rates when you know they’re too low and you’ve always needed to and you’re just too fearful to do it?
- How about not sharing your site or products? I know I am very guilty of this. A lot of the times I have had friends in my business tell me kindly, well, have you put it out there? Have you told anybody about it? You work on something so hard and you want it to be perfect and then you’re just so scared of showing up and actually putting it out there that you never do.
- Maybe fear shows up in your business with confidence. Maybe you are camera shy or you’re just scared to go live. That can be a form of perfectionism. Maybe you want everything to be perfect. You know the truth already that there’s no such thing as perfectionism.
- So maybe fear shows up in your business in a way that you feel like if you put something out there your product, your site, your ideas that someone’s going to copy you and that keeps you held back.
Listen, my friend. Trying to make things perfect is like trying to mix oil and water. Just when you think you have it all mixed together, you have it all glued together. It’s all what you would consider perfect. It separates before your very eyes. It’s simply not attainable at all. This is the problem with perfectionism. Let me know in the comments below if this describes you.
What to do Instead…(Ways to Overcome Perfectionism)
I’m going to definitely not leave of you hanging with all of the negative things about perfectionism without giving you some ways to work on your perfectionism to get better at not trying to let fear stand in the way of your progress or your success.
So the first tip I would give you would be to recognize yourself as worthy. You are worthy, my friend. You don’t need external rewards or awards or accolades to prove that you are worthy. You were born worthy.
Number two, you can practice gratitude for today, for where you are now, and for who you are now. This is the key to growth. Not who or where you wish you were, but it’s who and where you are now. Be grateful with an attitude of gratitude. Attitude of gratitude. That rhymes. And you will see progress.
All right, I want you to tip three take small risks and detach yourself from the results. What I mean by that is take that big scary thing that you are letting stand in your way of success. That one huge, fearful thing. Break it down into a small risk that you can do today, and then detach yourself from the result. Maybe it’s going live. Maybe you’re super fearful of going live on social media. Maybe your first step needs to do be a five minute live video where you literally just introduce yourself and say hello to your followers and not worry about anything about it. Don’t worry if your audio is good. Don’t worry if you look great. Don’t worry if you say the right things. Don’t worry if you get anybody on. Don’t worry if they actually hit the like button or share the video. You literally just want to detach yourself from the outcome of that small risk. When you get good at this, you can build on it. Courage is a muscle that you strengthen over time. So doing small things like taking small risks over and over in your journey will be what makes you successful. And it squashes that perfectionism.
I want you to tip number four look for the joy in the journey, not the destination. I want you to celebrate small wins. Now this will look different for everyone, but just remember your daily journey needs to bring joy. And if you’ve taken a small risk like that example where you went live for five minutes on your page, I want you to beforehand already set up a celebration or a reward for yourself. Maybe when you stop that live and hit that end button, you go get to have I don’t recommend this, but like a bag of M & M’s. I’m not saying I may or may not have ever rewarded myself with treats, but maybe you’re going to go shopping. Maybe you’re going to do something for yourself that is considered a celebration of that small win.
I’m telling you, perfectionism is a super big deal. I struggle with it every single day. And these four tips are just small ideas of ways that you can try to overcome this.
There’s no such thing as perfect, my friend. But you are worthy. You don’t have to be perfect in order to show up for yourself and to show up for your business. You don’t have to to be perfect, thank goodness, to succeed in the online space. If that were the case, there would be no success in the online space. No billionaires, millionaires, six figure people in the online space at all. Because perfection does not exist. It is not a real thing. It is something unattainable. And you are setting yourself up for disappointment if you constantly put all of these expectations on yourself and your business that aren’t attainable.
So I hope this was helpful. I hope that you took some nuggets from this about perfectionism. And then if you struggle with it as well, let me know in the show notes over here on the blog. And we can maybe kind of set up a system where we can stay in touch and know that each other is enough.
You are enough, my friend. You were born worthy. You ARE worthy. You don’t need anything extra to be enough.